Someone once told me about the power of doing a simple self check in with yourself while on a date to reflect on how you think it is going. Well let’s just say it has been a game changer for me not just in dating, but in all areas of my life. Checking in with yourself regularly actually strengthens you intuition and ability to trust in your decision making, because you are learning how to listen to your own internal guidance system. I will give examples on how to do this while on dates because dating can be very hard and take up a lot of your time. Part of my work as a coach is to help people have greater awareness of their wants and values and to act more intentionally when expressing them. When this is accomplished, their dating life improves because they are better able to part ways with people they are not in alignment with, and spend their time building connections with those who are instead. This makes it easier to find the ideal relationship and avoid the modern dilemma of a situationship.

To teach you how to strengthen your intuition while dating, I’ll use an example.

Say you’re on a first date. They are pretty attractive and have a decent sense of humor. You don’t agree with everything they say but you don’t want to argue so you let their differing ideas slide. Maybe later on during the date, they make a few passes at you that could lead to physical intimacy but you aren’t sure if you want to explore this, or even like this person. Perhaps part of you is curious while another part is conflicted.

What I am talking about is your average date where there are no obvious signs that you like them and hope to see them again, or that you dislike them and want the date to end. 

For the empath or people pleaser, it can be hard to separate one’s own emotions from the other’s or to even say no. This technique will help with decision making and improving mental clarity. 

It goes like this… Look for an opportunity midway or toward the end of the date to create some space for yourself. The best way is to excuse yourself and go to the bathroom. Now look in the mirror and check in with yourself.

How you are feeling right now? Are you feeling intrigued, joyful, bored, etc.?

What is your energetic state like? Is your energy more withdrawn or more open? 

Questions like this bring awareness to what your body is trying to communicate through feeling. 

Then bring the awareness back to your head by asking yourself…

If this date ended right now would I be upset?

What would make me want to see this person again?

If they make moves to sleep with me and I allow it, will I regret it? Why or why not?

Ask yourself questions like this while paying attention to the way you feel in your body as you answer them. 

In time you will strengthen your intuition and learn how to listen to the sensations in your body while being with your date. You will also learn how to distinguish good sensations from bad sensations. Nervousness, for example, often is felt in the tummy. Butterflies in one’s stomach can mean excitement when meeting someone, because you are hopeful. It could also be a signal of discomfort. Use your intuition to know the difference.