I talk a lot about ways to enhance intimacy in your relationships but what about in relation to yourself?
If nothing comes to mind when you ask yourself this question then it begs the additional question, ‘Why do we make excuses like not having enough time or money when it comes to investing in ourselves?’
I have been recommending self pleasure rituals to my clients because of the value I gain from them on a personal level. I am not referring to self pleasure simply as masterbation. I want you to think about it as a mindful practice that caters to igniting all your senses throughout the day so that you experience more overall pleasure in life. I believe that self pleasure is an act that we can do in order to increase intimacy within ourselves.
When we have more intimacy within ourselves, we have a greater sense of self awareness, purpose, and confidence. Navigating the world by increasing the strength of these three aspects is what brings you the type of life and partner you wish to attract.
It does take too much time out of your day to incorporate a self pleasure ritual. Simply choosing yourself by being in alignment with what pleases you is an act of self pleasure. For the sake of its name, I will refer to acts of self pleasure as ‘daily foreplay’. I incorporate ‘daily foreplay’ by inducing sensuality within the actions I already do. For me sensuality is powerful and comes easily. For you it may be something completely different so go with what feels most empowering for you.
Most of these suggestions are free and simple to do and will add to the overall experience of showing devotion to yourself. These are the ways that I most enjoy incorporating self pleasure but consider what works best to get you into your most fulfilling energy. In order to turn it into a ritual, practice the acts with consistency or schedule it into your day.
- I put on lotion everyday to avoid dry skin. Instead of quickly lathering on the lotion, I give myself more time to sensually massage it into my body.
- I practice mindfulness while I shower so that I can notice the way the hot water feels on my erogenous and sensitive areas.
- I wear softer, flowy clothes that I feel confident and beautiful in, even if I am working from home. It feels nice to wear them for myself.
- Sometimes I wear lingerie just for the sheer joy of knowing that I am wearing lingerie.
- My work space smells like essential oils with floral notes or spices.
- I buy or pick myself flowers because I love the way their presence makes me feel.
- I eat foods slower and more intentionally so that I can enjoy the experience longer and contemplate on each burst of flavor.
- Sometimes I close my eyes and sensually dance to my favorite songs without thinking too much about the movement and how I look. I dance for me.
- I can easily induce energetic orgasms that make me feel ecstatic afterwards.
- I have a regular journaling practice that allows me to track my emotions, keep record of important events, create goals and identify my deepest desires.
From my experience of incorporating a self pleasure ritual, I have noticed a new ‘glow’ about me. My feminine essence is a lot more pronounced when I embrace my sensual side. People can sense this energy and tell me that they feel connected to me even when I don’t use much words. Feeling a greater sense of intimacy within myself has opened me up to a beautiful and deeply connected partnership with a man who also invests time into himself.
Try incorporating at least one or two of these suggestions to your daily routine and notice the difference in your attitude. This will affect the way you feel about yourself, which will directly effect the way you are perceived, the people you attract, and the quality of your relationships.