Who is the first woman to come to mind when you think of the term ‘high valued woman’?

What aspects of her stand out to you and what do you wish to embody?

The ideal of a high valued woman changes based on culture, time era, and social opinion but generally certain traits seem to stick that most of us can agree on.

The capacity to be a high valued woman lies in all women, but the ability to embody it is where the work starts. Certain behaviors and characteristics need to be present, but the rest is based on the energy and physical embodiment of these aspects. To embody these traits but not believe them in yourself does not come from a place of authenticity and sooner or later, other people will notice the disconnect.

A high valued woman is not the perfect woman. I am describing a woman who embraces all her fears, vulnerabilities, and strengths and uses these aspects to propel herself into the world instead of shy away from them.

A woman does not need to have all of these attributes right now in order to consider herself high valued, but they can inspire additional areas of growth.

Traits of a High Valued Woman

1. She loves herself and makes her wellbeing a priority. She knows that the way she shows up for herself affects her relationship with others. If she knows how to fulfill herself and enjoy her alone time, then she doesn’t look to others to feel lovable and whole.
2. She has high standards. This woman knows her worth so the people she allows in her life were chosen with intention to enhance her wellbeing. They are not the source of her happiness.
3. She creates her own boundaries based on her values and is comfortable expressing them. As a result, she does not settle for less than what she believes she deserves. She won’t put up with disrespect without at least voicing it.
4. It feels natural to her to want to give and express love to those she cares about, but at the same time she is also comfortable with receiving love in return. Depending on the person, a people pleaser may be prone to giving away all their love and don’t feel worthy of receiving love at the same magnitude of what they give. Likewise, someone who is avoidant and untrusting of another’s love may not want to give much because of fear or rejection, which blocks them from receiving love as well.
5. She lovingly supports her partner, respects them and tries to build them up, in private and in public. She knows words are powerful so constantly thinking negatively about her partner and expressing her anger about them to others devalues their relationship. She is able to look at her role in their disagreements and communicate her frustration to their partner maturely and come up with an agreement. If she does feel the same respect and love from this partner in return, she knows that she can leave the relationship.
6. She takes care of herself, which includes her outward appearance, her physical health and her emotional wellbeing. She treats her body like a temple. She is very aware of how bad food, poor sleep, and lack of movement effect her and aims to improve that always. Her beauty routine and the way she dresses is decided by her standards and what makes her feel most confident. This confidence is exuded in the way she carries herself.
7.  She is mature and intentional with her actions so she does not play games or use manipulation tactics to get what she wants. Instead of using controlling tactics to get what she wants from others or people pleasing in a way that she continually avoids getting what she actually wants, she is able to communicate her desires and give clear reason. She will carefully consider whether changing her mind will be beneficial for her but is able to maturely listen to an opposing view.
8. She is competitive with herself. She enjoys challenges and expressing discipline because it makes her stronger. Her biggest competition is with herself so she constantly seeks self improvement and does not lose energy comparing herself to where other people are at in life.
9. She holds empathy and compassion for others. Women have a natural ability to be empathetic and approach life through a more emotional lens. A high valued woman embraces this part of her, rather than surpasses her full range of emotions and responds to others in need from a place of compassion and willingness to comfort. This is relatable to the nurturing and care of a mother.
10. She is dedicated to her own growth, interests, and increasing her self awareness. No matter how many people she has to care for, she finds time to work on herself because she knows that how she shows up affects everyone. If she feels well rested, fulfilled, and understanding of her emotions, she shows up confidently in her world.
11. She is able to be vulnerable and knows that expressing her emotion does not make her a burden or unworthy of love. She embraces her shadow side by seeking to understand where her limitations come from. She is forgiving to herself for where she is currently at and expresses her emotions rather than suppresses. This is not done through angry outbursts to displace her own resentment but she is able to voice that she feels angry, or sad, overjoyed, etc. without fear of another’s response. She knows that to be loved fully by another is to have someone accept her dark and light side so she does not try to cover it up. She shares as much as she feels comfortable with to feel supported and honest, whilst doing the work she needs to do to overcome it.
12. She owns her sexuality and expresses it in a way that feels safe and consensual. She does not abide by societal norms and knows that her body and what she does with it is her choice. Since she has such high self respect, she does not choose to share herself with people that don’t appreciate or value her. Even though she decides what she does with her body, she is also respectful of any commitments made with her partner and upholds them or voices her concerns as they arise.